I’ve had a few people to ask why am I being so transparent, as it relates to my healing process.I am going through a public breakup and it’s not like people didn’t know we were together. So, why in the world would I invite people into my most vulnerable and transparent world?
If you know me, you know I always share honest life moments—I always have. I built my brand around authenticity.
I created #girlkeepgoing because one night, after breaking down, I had to tell myself something to create a sense of hope. When you meet your soulmate and y’all end the cycle, you just don’t ‘get over it.’ No! You grieve like someone has died. But, it’s almost worse because they’re alive. The two of y’all are no longer together.
When you love and lost, you need support. Being 1900 miles away from my folks, I needed an outlet. So, I leaned on myself, until I found other women who were also suffering a traumatic loss. It just so happens that I have a platform and I share information anyway. Why not share this?
Writing in my journal (turned upcoming book), allowed me to process my feelings. I was allowed to replay where things went wrong, what my body actually felt, and I gave myself permission not to carry thangs I had no control over.
For me, writing is like putting thangs in slow motion. I can analyze, compartmentalize, and get to the core of my soul.
I also had someone to ask why I don’t ever go into detail about what happened, or why don’t I ever say anything bad about him, since he broke my heart? First of all, he rocked my soul. There’s a distinct difference. Secondly? Bash him—for what? I can’t focus on my healing and bash him at the same time. That ain’t how this works. It’s definitely not how it works, when you’re operating from a place of love and divine feminine power.
Honestly, while I am transparent and vulnerable, at times, I also protect my intimate moments I’ve shared with others. So, some shit will never be discussed. I’ll never bash him. How can I bash someone I spent a pivotal point of my life with?
I’ve never been that girl to publicly shame anybody. That just ain’t my style. We’ve all seen couples do that to each other and we get a good kiki, take a screenshot, talk trash, and go back to our lives.
I’ve always said that I would never sling mud with someone I once made love to. It makes no sense—none. I don’t want to have to come back and apologize for not controlling myself, because I was hurt. He always said, “Don’t say nothing you can’t hold up for.” So, I don’t.
I share my losses because it’s healing for me. This is why I write books. Once a book is published, I don’t read it. For me, it’s the official closing of a chapter in my life.
#Girlkeepgoing has touched so many women. It has grown from a simple FB post—sharing my lesson in love—to a FB group with over 100 women, sharing their most transparent moments, and an upcoming book.
Because of my vulnerability, I am helping others heal too. This ain’t no ‘I hate a nigga’ train. This is simply seeking healing, no matter the deets, and lessons learned from a love loss.
As you see, I’m writing for my healing, not his demise. This is about me and the rest of the broken souls who suffered a loss. This is about me becoming a better woman for myself and those around me.
I’m a writer, first. Therapy can only do so much. Prayer can only do so much. Keeping myself busy can only do so much. But, writing? It puts me back together again.
Because of who I am, I’ll always share to help others heal, as I write my way back to happiness.
Next time anyone asks, show them the messages below.