My friend Jarius McNair-Edens, copywriter extradonaire, dropped some major gems on FB. She stated:
People will try to make you stay silent and call it maturity because it will ruin the story they’ve been telling.
Don’t do it.
Tell your story anyway.
That statement got me to thinking. So many people believe speaking their truth is a sign of ‘keeping up mess’, when sharing how you overcame is strength, admirable, and healing.
I understand why people are silent. I mean, no one wants to face the backlash, especially in the society we live in today. Wake up and now you’re tagged in multiple FB posts, 10 screenshots sent to your phone, and you’re crushed. Ask me how I know.
But, remaining silent is also living in misery. If anyone has you that fearful to speak about your experience, that is pure abuse. There’s a way to tell your story without focusing on the other person. Trust me!
Take me for an example, my upcoming book, Girl Keep Going: Healing is now in Session dropping Thursday (9.19.19) was inspired by a relationship. I discuss what I’ve learned and how I felt, but I don’t go into details about his actions, as my book isn’t a tell-all. It’s simply about healing. Now, if he reads it and feels like it is about him that’s his problem. Because no one knows who I’m speaking of, unless I actually say it, or he confirms it for those who are wondering.
Now, I’m not telling you to be messy and spill the unmentionables. But, what I am telling you is to express how you feel and live in your truth.
If you harmed someone, lied, abused, mistreated the person, you should work on yourself and then express how you became a better person. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong. You can’t do anything but own it. Everyone has a story. We just have to own it.
Here are 3 ways to share your story:
- Accept the truth: Good, bad, and ugly–accept what it was. Hell, I have a sad love story. Before I could focus on sharing with the world, I had to own my own flaws and also accept the fact that I chose to love the wrong person. You can’t tell anything if you’re not honest with yourself, first.
- Forget the details: Don’t let FB fool you into clowning and for no reason at all. Sure! You can tell us the deets but for what? Help someone and tell us how you feel/felt and how you overcame those feelings. Or, what you’re working on, in order to feel better. But, to tell us every single detail is cumbersome and oversharing. Just share what you learned and if you can’t, then remain mum, until you can.
- Make some money: I believe in getting paid for your pain. Everyone ain’t a writer but we can all get together with food and drinks and love on one another. Host an event, start a simple social media campaign, or create apparel that is inspired by your story. Turn your pain into profit and get them coins.
There will be some backlash and folks hate when you tell the truth on them. So, be prepared to still get some type of side-eye. But, be OK with living in your truth. That’s your right.