I announce the release date of my audiobook (Girl. Keep Going.) this week. Honestly, I couldn’t release the book, until I was done being bitter.
People pretend that bitterness isn’t a normal reaction to being hurt and that’s a lie. I was supposed to start a family with this man and we’re no longer together and I’m supposed to not become bitter? Yeah, that’s cute (sarcasm).
I was so damn angry but it was really just hurt. I felt mistreated & bamboozled. What the hell happened? Like, really? What just happened? I gave him all the space in the world to be himself—right, wrong, or indifferent, and I didn’t get a 3rd of that.
I had romanticized his minimal effort & enabled the entitlement and unhealthy behaviors. Something was better than nothing.
I was livid and didn’t wanna give the world that energy, while I was unpacking the many layers of emotional abuse.
So, I took a step back, went to therapy, accepted my faults, owned my flaws, wrote myself back to life, and finished the book.
While writing my story, I wanted to keep the details of what happened private. I share a lot but when it comes to my love life, I hold that near & dear to my heart, especially this situation.
I’ve had other relationships before. But, this one was the one that ignited my soul. It’s still unexplainable. I will never be able to comprehend how I could once feel so euphoric and ultimately have so much anguish.
This was the first relationship that I felt like I was really gonna become a bride and a mother. This man was a part of my world. Everything else and everyone else before him didn’t matter.
At the time, I thought what he gave me was healthy. Then, as time went on, I realized it wasn’t—not for me. By the time we were done, I had low self esteem, developed PTSD, and was prescribed meds because I wasn’t myself anymore.
I struggled w/being extremely honest & protecting his image, at the same time.
Why I wanna protect his image after all of the screenshots and blatant disrespect is beyond me. But, I guess that’s just the integrity of my character.
Honestly, I’m focused so much on myself that I don’t even have the energy to share specific details. Hell, the Universe knows and will handle accordingly. How God deals with him ain’t my business. I’m responsible for my truth & the manner I share it in. That’s it.
The purpose of Girl. Keep Going. is for women to learn how to heal. We don’t need a reminder on how to remain bitter, hateful, and become stuck in sadness.
I want to tell women how to dry their own tears, move on w/o an apology, create a new life—after complete devastation—and to find hope in a world full of loss. This is what I had to do and, in some fashion, still doing.
As you listen to the audiobook, watch the documentary, and reflect on what I say—please understand that these lessons are imperative for any couple. These are thangs I wish we *both* understood, at the time.
One of the biggest lessons is creating space for your mate. When you’re with someone, you gotta create space for them to be your blessing and headache all in one (all thangs w/in reason, of course). If you don’t know how to do that, even in platonic relationships, you’re gonna have a hard time allowing the relationship to grow.
This doesn’t mean not to correct them or set boundaries. This simply means you understand they’re flawed just like you. Sometimes the argument may not even be worth the residual effects.
Girl. Keep Going. will discuss so many thangs that are imperative to developing mutually *beneficial* relationships. I can’t wait to release the book!
Again, thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you. I hope my story helps you to discover the path to your healing.