Author – Sekinah Brodie
Success is a subjective multi-layered concept which, to the average person holds an unattainable standard. Whatever your version of success is you will need to detach from certain habits and ideas to attain it. Removing toxic people, being ready for change, ignoring self doubt, refusing to make excuses, and realizing that you will outgrow people are crucial to embracing success. With this in mind, here’s some ways to get out of your own way and embrace your success.
Removing toxic people
One of the hardest things that we’ll ever have to do in life is to to remove people from our lives who are bad for our mental and spiritual health. During the times in my life when I was at my lowest – in every way, I attracted a lot of negative and non productive people around me. In a way, we enabled each others behavior. However, the people who enable you are not the ones that you want to keep around as you will never be able to evolve and receive all the positive things that you deserve in life. Cutting people off will never be easy, but if they’re not nourishing you, if you feel drained around them, if you feel like they only support you when convenient, go your separate ways.
Being ready for change/Leaving comfort zone
Humans are natural creatures of habit – with some being more open to change than others. When I finally decided that I was ready to embrace my success I knew that my life would change for the better. I knew that there would be times that I was afraid, uncomfortable, and unsure. At the same time, I knew that the reward would be greater than my temporary discomfort. There’s a saying that “all the magic happens outside of your comfort zone” and I couldn’t agree more. Things did not start changing for the better in my life until I got out of my comfort zone and started putting myself out there more. With entrepreneurship and business in general, networking and selling yourself and your product are crucial to success. Remember this the next time somebody asks you to do something that terrifies you – go for it!
Ignoring self doubt/Negative voices
Getting out of your own way will often be the biggest obstacle that you have to face. We can sometimes be our harshest critics. If you let self doubt and negativity take over it will drown out the positive thinking that you need to make it. One thing that I’ve learned during my journey is that you can talk yourself into something and out of something very easily. You can manifest bad energy, or negative circumstances with the power of your mind. Days when I have a positive attitude and remember not to sweat the small stuff are much smoother than the days that I stress out and second guess myself. Days when I’m more confident in who I am and what I have to offer I notice more opportunities coming my way. We have to stop being our own biggest enemies.
Stop making excuses
It is incredibly easy to focus on all the “I cannot” and “I never will’s” in life. But what will that change? How will you get better? I spent a good amount of time making excuses about why things weren’t happening for me and all it did was cause depression. Many of us get into the habit of making excuses for our bad behavior as well by blaming our past, and end up stagnated in life for a long time. Most of the times the excuses that we’re making for why we cannot do things, come from years of us being conditioned to think that obstacles are insurmountable. This is not true. In reality, there is no excuse not to push forward or strive to reach your goals. The more you tell yourself that things can hold you back, or justify your mediocrity, the more you will stay stagnant. You deserve all the good things that are coming to you. Embrace your fear, which is natural but don’t live there.
Realize that you will outgrow people
As you get older, life will naturally take you in different directions than some of the people that you’ve known the longest. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because outgrowing someone is a sign that they are growing with you. You don’t have to cut them off completely but nature will eventually take its course. As I started to take more control over my life and my future and put myself out there more I noticed that I lost touch with people. I didn’t feel supported by anyone and that was another sign that I needed to move on with my life. Making peace with this will be the difficult part for some. You do not want it to seem like these people do not matter to you, but you also don’t want to be held back or trapped in their chaos or disfunction. It is an interesting conundrum to be in but with the proper communication, and intentions you can get the message across in a non harmful way. The bright side is that you will outgrow certain relationships and have the potential to grow into more fruitful ones.
Author – Sekinah Brodie is a Marketing Assistant at Penji, a graphic design startup offering unlimited graphic design at a flat monthly rate. She is a community leader supporting her peers and local businesses with design, marketing, and community engagement. As a graduate of Hopeworks ‘n Camden and Montclair State University, she is experienced in web development, design, and communications. Sekinah enjoys writing and constantly learning about technology, entrepreneurship, and diversity in startups. She strives to empower women and minorities with job opportunities, career development, and positive representation.