Five healthy ways to move beyond a bad break-up.
Break-up’s suck! There is just no fancy way of saying it. Even if the decision was a mutual one, they still suck. The longer the relationship, the tougher it seems. Moving on eventually happens, but sometimes it seems like it takes forever. Often times, when relationships end you go through the cycle of grief without even realizing it. You toss and turn at night playing the scene over and over in your mind, wondering if you could have done or said something different.
One night I was trying to gain a greater understanding of the grief process while supporting a friend whom had lost someone due to a terminal illness. I started reading some literature related to the grief cycle and was surprised to learn that break-ups can and do solicit some of the same emotions and thought processes identified in the stages in grief. I’m in no way comparing the two; however, listed below is a diagram concerning the grief cycle – review it at your leisure.
I would like to take a moment to share five healthy ways to move past a break-up. Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions.
- Give yourself permission to feel every emotion; anger, grief, sadness, disappointment, etc., a good ugly cry won’t hurt either.
- Confide in a trustworthy friend or journal your experience
- Briefly limit your interaction with people, places or things the both of you shared in common. It’s okay to unplug.
- Do something you thoroughly enjoyed, but stopped doing after you met your ex.
- Speak kindly to yourself. Purchase or create a book of daily affirmations concerning love and acceptance.
As each day passes, you will eventually find the strength to smile, live, and love again. Sometimes break-ups can be a blessing. Take care.