Inspiration New Relationships 

Do Better: Suh! Stop Shaming Women for Who They Love


It always amazes me how judgmental other women can be, as it relates to the choices of their fellow sista. 

From the clothes one chooses to wear to the one we choose to love, many women act as the judge, jury, and executioner, in most cases, if they don’t understand or accept that.

I understand people have opinions. But, it’s the condescending ‘pick me’ type of rhetoric that I just don’t quite understand. 

Lately, I have seen many posts condemning women who stay in not so healthy relationships. I am baffled because women don’t wake up and decide to be in an unhappy situation. I’m not understanding why people don’t offer more support. Not support the actual relationship but the woman who is trying instead.

Who wakes up and says, “Guess I’ll stay with this man even though he’s treating me like trash?” Seriously—who does that? 

People stay in dysfunctional relationships because of comfortability, fear, childhood traumas, hope, and too many other reasons to mention.

Instead of bashing our broken sistas, how bout we give them a reason to love themselves, support them, and just hold space? Trust, they already know that they’re not in the best situation. They don’t need you to remind them of how ‘stupid’ they have become. 

Furthermore, as a woman, we have all have boundaries or think we do. But, you really find out how much you love yourself, when you are in a relationship. So, you can say what you will or won’t do all day long. But, it ain’t guaranteed you’ll have that same energy, when you fall in love.

Dysfunctional relationships are common and honestly most of us grew up as a byproduct of this type of love. Unlearning and unpacking this will take more than one failed relationship, one crystal, one therapy session. You need time, a lot of healing, therapy, spiritual enlightenment journey, and a change of perspective.

At the age of 31, I remember saying a lot of sh#t, when I was younger. I just knew i wasn’t gon’ do half of the thangs I’ve done. Guess what? I kept on living and found out I would do almost anything to be loved. I was humbled real quick.

Before you bash someone for ultimately not loving herself enough, remember this was you, once upon a time. If it hasn’t been you, you’ll have your moment where love challenges everything you believe in. 

We all have our crosses to bear and tryna figure life out. No one really knows what the hell they’re doing . We just hope we make it out alive and as one.

Love on yo sista. Don’t shame her. She gets enough of that already. We’re all one screenshot, text, or call away from a broken heart. Or, if you’re like me, you’re trying your best to get a new one.

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