I wanted to write about this topic for a while, but wasn’t sure how to approach it. So often, when one hears the term “body shaming”, full figured women being shamed for their size may come to mind. I want to take a moment to address the body shaming occurring in the black community, particularly concerning women and girls who don’t have a fat a** and slim waist. Yes, it’s done by both males and females. I have witnessed women being clowned for having no a**, the wrong shape, a bad body, no hips, a gut you name it, I’ve heard it. It’s amazing how much emphasis both men and women place on the anatomy of the female body. If a women takes issue with another woman, the first thing attacked is that woman’s shape. It’s sad and we can’t have it both ways. We get up in arms when people openly shame plus sized women, but become silent as a mice pissing on carpet when people openly shame women with no a** or a “bad shape”. For the women that have been curved because your shape wasn’t “good enough” or “bad enough” hold your head up because the person that’s meant for you will find you and appreciate the heart that you have first and foremost.
“Don’t get me wrong, men have always liked a**, but it wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker on if a man would try to hit on a girl or not. But now it’s a fad and dudes are obsessive about it. You could have face like Beyoncé, but if you have an a** like Miley Cyrus to dudes nowadays, you’re automatically a five. Now the girl with the big booty looking like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, she’ll get play for days. But that bothers me, because at the end of the day I have to talk to your face, not your behind. That shows you right there what a man’s intentions are.”
“These are the words of a male friend of mine as we debated over the phone the other day about the importance of an ample backside for some men. ” -Toya Sharee, Madame Noire
This is not to make an excuse for poor health or lack of self-care, but to simply point out that highlighting what someone may be lacking is getting very old. What people fail to realize is that, you don’t know how long a person may have had to deal with the body shaming. Furthermore, you don’ t know if they have contemplated suicide because of it. Sometimes people attack the only thing they feel they may have over someone, which in some cases, can be the individual’s shape. You may not be a 36-24-36, a dime piece, bad b****, or any of the other names floating out there, but you are worthy of love and respect. Last time I checked, having a fat a** isn’t insurance against a broken heart, neither is it a prerequisite for success. Embrace yourself and love yourself totally. Define your own sexy!