I typically stay away from topics like this, but not today. Ladies, get it together. I’m talking about the bitter Bettie’s. The ones who do any and everything to keep the father out of their child’s life. Not because they fear for the child’s safety, but because they are bitter, mad, angry and upset that man has chosen to move on with their life and be happy. That’s it!
They refuse to accept the fact that the relationship is done and over with and spend all their lil energy trying to make life a living hell for the father . Running to child support asking for an increase every year, as if that’s going to bring him back. Let it go! If you are going to be mad at him, be mad at yourself too, because the pregnancy was preventable. Stop saying you love your child, you can’t. Not if you are purposely preventing them from seeing their parent who loves them as well. Somewhere along the line you forgot that it was not about you any longer. Stop throwing rocks then hiding your hand.
Stop starting fights then crying victim when that person, who is well within their rights decides to protect themselves from your foolishness. You use your child as a tool and see no issue with it. When your mood is better he can see the child; when you’re in your feelings, he can’t. Do better! Your child did not ask to be here. Because of your bitterness and selfishness you see no problem in passing that same measure of bitterness on down to your child (ren). Why are you bringing your child into your emotional mess?
Commit to no longer using your child as a weapon. When you start to get those calls about your child being unruly in school and misbehaving, you have yourself partially to blame. The one male figure of authority the child had, you chose to purposely keep them away from. That’s on you.
If you are a man and are in this situation, I encourage you to seek legal counsel and establish a court ordered visitation / parenting plan. Check with your local legal aid program to see if you qualify for free legal assistance. If not, in some states the court offers a service whereby they will assist you with completing you paperwork for as little as 15 cents per minute. You have options. Trying visiting the child at day care or during lunch at their school in order to maintain your bond.
I truly get why some men stop trying to forge a relationship and just send in the child support. Some women make it so difficult for the man to part of their child’s life.
If this is you and you are tired of being bitter and want to do better, then commit to working on you. Stop lying to yourself and acknowledge that the relationship is over. Regardless if you get closure or not. Regardless if he cheated on you or not. Stop bringing your child into your emotional mess. Quit lurking on his page looking at his life with the new person, because you can’t handle it. You’re hurting; be still and heal.